just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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