I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
