Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
