once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
