oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
