I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
It's never too late to be topless.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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