I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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