My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
