My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sponge bath it is.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
