the day after is always just damage control
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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