so explain again why im purple
no
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
