very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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