wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
