And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
