Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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