Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
