are you so shy because you have an std?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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