Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
