If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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