my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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