So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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