In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
