Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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