Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
