Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just gift wrapped bread.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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