how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Ketchup is God's man juice
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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