We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
