I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
