So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
