I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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