I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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