First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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