I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize