**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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