Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
