I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
