they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
