Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
