Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize