Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think your dad took our porno
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
