I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize