Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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