if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
