the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
