my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
