im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
