This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize