Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
