is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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