Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
