wanna go halves on a baby?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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