Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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