i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
