I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
