Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize