your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
