You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
