Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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