so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
