Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
