Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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