We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
