I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
