miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
